in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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