quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
