she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
