i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
