So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
