no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
