i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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