the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
