You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
