you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just cropdusted the office
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize