what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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