hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize