I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
