I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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