i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
farters have to be the big spoon...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
