Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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