i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
