It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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