Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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