I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
