He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You can make out without kissing
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