She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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