look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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