This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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