Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
