I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
