Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
