Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
