I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
