i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
