Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
