So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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