He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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