Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
