i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
