i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
