Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
