dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
