found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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