I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize