I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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