i think my mom watched the whole time
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just cropdusted the office
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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