i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
