More tranny stories later!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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