It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
