I think scott just propositioned me for sex
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
