Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
