I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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