He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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