I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize