I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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