i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
