Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
