Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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