I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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