Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
