Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize