You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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