i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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