How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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