You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
